I feel like a broken record sometimes telling everyone I know how dysfunctional our society is on so many levels. Like, we've designed a culture and society that is the worst possible environment for us as a deeply social species, including our children. I have to check out this book now!
As someone without kids, I’ve kind of given up on investing in friendships with parents. I’ve found they’re too busy with child centered activities to make the investment worth it for me. I reach out to them but they have a kids sports event (that they don’t invite me to). Or I’ll ask if I can come over, bring them dinner, and we can just hang out, but they hd a long day at work. I’d love to be included in their community and can offer a lot of support but they tend to exclude me in favor of just being a little nuclear family. I so appreciated how this interview addresses the child-free. We can be allies. I’m happy to help (and I have the time since I’m child free).
Hunt, Gather, Parent was my favorite book of last year and I don’t even have kids! I am a teacher of young kids, though, and I see the ramifications of our WEIRD culture every day.
Exceptional interview. I recently moved from a close-knit neighborhood that was filled with alloparents for my two daughters. I like our new place very much, but one thing I really miss is that element of feeling connected to my neighbors. But I realize that it didn't happen overnight, even in that small community. I'm invested in bringing it to our new neighborhood; I just have to remember that it will take some patience. Forging relationships takes time in our WEIRD world.
I read Hunt, Gather, Parent last year and found it so helpful! Our home is much calmer now that we think about our interactions with our daughter in a new way.
Thank you, Rosie! Another really thoughtful read that gets right at the heart of a core element of our WEIRD cultural dysfunction.
Loved this:
"I don’t need to teach my child to be alone or independent. What I need to do and learn — and am still learning — is how to cooperate with people, and connect. It’s such an irony: the more I connect and bond with my daughter Rosy, the more this child becomes independent."
and this:
"I think that science has limited our collective mental health in some ways. Because I think there are so many things you can't prove with randomized controlled trials. And yet, you can live them day after day."
and this!:
"The second thing is I really want to teach her that giving and helping other people is this incredible source of joy."
I am 53 with four kids… I raised them mostly between 1999 and... well, actually I still have a 14 year old!
One of the most blatant parenting differences between the early 2000s and now, is it seems no one hires babysitters anymore! With my first three children, I hired 13 year-old babysitters nearly ever weekend; even for toddlers and babies. I purposely did not hire kids over 16 because they were more expensive and didn’t play with the children as much as a 13 year olds did. I don’t know if I was naïve or trusting or what but, it seems that even if they have the bank account, today’s young parents don’t seem to use neighborhood babysitters anymore. There is so much fear- so much distrust - and even guilt.
And on a different topic, phone use has made parenting of tweens & teenagers, completely different (difficult!!) - than in the early 2000s.
What a great interview. I haven’t heard of this book, it’s on my list now. It all resonated deeply, especially the part about opening your home to others and hoping it’s reciprocated. it’s a slow process though, people are definitely open to it but also set in their ways and it feels like it takes a long time to shift things. I too find it much easier looking after four kids than two (except at snack and meal time!!)
I feel like a broken record sometimes telling everyone I know how dysfunctional our society is on so many levels. Like, we've designed a culture and society that is the worst possible environment for us as a deeply social species, including our children. I have to check out this book now!
As someone without kids, I’ve kind of given up on investing in friendships with parents. I’ve found they’re too busy with child centered activities to make the investment worth it for me. I reach out to them but they have a kids sports event (that they don’t invite me to). Or I’ll ask if I can come over, bring them dinner, and we can just hang out, but they hd a long day at work. I’d love to be included in their community and can offer a lot of support but they tend to exclude me in favor of just being a little nuclear family. I so appreciated how this interview addresses the child-free. We can be allies. I’m happy to help (and I have the time since I’m child free).
Hunt, Gather, Parent was my favorite book of last year and I don’t even have kids! I am a teacher of young kids, though, and I see the ramifications of our WEIRD culture every day.
Exceptional interview. I recently moved from a close-knit neighborhood that was filled with alloparents for my two daughters. I like our new place very much, but one thing I really miss is that element of feeling connected to my neighbors. But I realize that it didn't happen overnight, even in that small community. I'm invested in bringing it to our new neighborhood; I just have to remember that it will take some patience. Forging relationships takes time in our WEIRD world.
This is an incredible interview!! I am a loooong way off from having kids but need to read this book asap! Thank you for sharing :)
Great article! Such wise advice. We have so much to learn from other cultures.
I read Hunt, Gather, Parent last year and found it so helpful! Our home is much calmer now that we think about our interactions with our daughter in a new way.
Thank you, Rosie! Another really thoughtful read that gets right at the heart of a core element of our WEIRD cultural dysfunction.
Loved this:
"I don’t need to teach my child to be alone or independent. What I need to do and learn — and am still learning — is how to cooperate with people, and connect. It’s such an irony: the more I connect and bond with my daughter Rosy, the more this child becomes independent."
and this:
"I think that science has limited our collective mental health in some ways. Because I think there are so many things you can't prove with randomized controlled trials. And yet, you can live them day after day."
and this!:
"The second thing is I really want to teach her that giving and helping other people is this incredible source of joy."
I am 53 with four kids… I raised them mostly between 1999 and... well, actually I still have a 14 year old!
One of the most blatant parenting differences between the early 2000s and now, is it seems no one hires babysitters anymore! With my first three children, I hired 13 year-old babysitters nearly ever weekend; even for toddlers and babies. I purposely did not hire kids over 16 because they were more expensive and didn’t play with the children as much as a 13 year olds did. I don’t know if I was naïve or trusting or what but, it seems that even if they have the bank account, today’s young parents don’t seem to use neighborhood babysitters anymore. There is so much fear- so much distrust - and even guilt.
And on a different topic, phone use has made parenting of tweens & teenagers, completely different (difficult!!) - than in the early 2000s.
What a great interview. I haven’t heard of this book, it’s on my list now. It all resonated deeply, especially the part about opening your home to others and hoping it’s reciprocated. it’s a slow process though, people are definitely open to it but also set in their ways and it feels like it takes a long time to shift things. I too find it much easier looking after four kids than two (except at snack and meal time!!)
thanks for your work, you're incredible and your writting and interviews are just amazing, kind, insightful!