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Welcome to the world Rafe! And thank you Rosie for speaking to how defiant and unruly birth is. The conversation seems so binary; either birth will be positive (defined by fairy lights and mantras), or, the it centres on what's in your hospital bag and whether or not you should wax. I wish we could equip birthing people with the tools they actually needed to get through with the least amount of trauma possible. Our birth didn't go according to anyone's plan (we also spent 11 days in NICU/SCBU in the depths of the first lockdown) but I am so thankful that I was resourced enough to accept it.

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Hi Laura! Thank you for sharing this -- it's been so heartening to hear from other people who experienced the NICU/SCBU life in those early days. The fact you went through that in covid lockdown is ... shudder. And yes, we need less fairy lights and hospital bags and more radical acceptance and communication with care providers!

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Two years later, I find this from you. It has brought back the always vivid memories of giving birth to my premature baby. Unlike you, we had no preparation other than reading Spriritual Midwifery and being very naive hippies. I had been seen maybe three times by a kind gynaecologist and had arranged with a retired midwife to attend our homebirth. In hindsight, I still freak out about our ignorance and arrogance. Anyway, she was born week 32, 900g, after 35 hours labour at home and whisked off to hospital and incubator within minutes after her safe arrival. This happened in the early 1980s in Ireland and for the next two weeks I fought with a staff of - mainly - nuns about access, breastfeeding and holding her on my skin. I was not allowed to stay in the hospital and so cycled there twice a day with my bottles of breast milk.

She came home after two weeks and has grown into a wonderful person, a mother now herself. Every time we meet I watch her with great care, still looking out for any signs of neglect, trauma, loss, of which there are none and we talked about it so often until she put her foot down and said, enough, I am whole and happy. But I know this will never leave me.

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Thank you, Rosie.

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Welcome Rafe! I want to ask if you're doing ok, but that question also feels ridiculous because what I really want to say is that I hope you feel deeply connected and supported by those around you. You have so much to process. Your perspective always seems so mature and like you're able to see things analytically but also with heart. I feel like that's a good combo. Please let us know if there is any way we can support you during your maternity leave <3. Sending love and congratulations to your family! xo Linnea

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Thank you for these kind words Linnea! We're all doing great x

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