I love the nuance you've drawn between "healing" and "healthcare." I find it so difficult walking this line because it feels like a slippery slope down to antivaxxing, birth in hospital = weak, unnatural, medicine is the devil's juice, etc - but you're so right that there are simple, basic habits *outside* the healthcare system that can make a huge difference (and that our healthcare system isn't designed to recognize/appreciate those options). Anyway, I'm grateful to you!
I agree! I have feared the slippery slope you talk about too. But I think things become easier when we allow for nuance, for multiple things to be true, to see everything available to us as part of a toolbox rather than a camp/cult/identity we have to adhere to. It's not as straightforward that way, and you have to experiment, but i think you end up somewhere better.
I thoroughly enjoyed this and would like to thank you for putting into words the way I feel right now!! I'm 37 with a six year old daughter, have worked in the City of London for almost 20 years (never been to drinks that involved dinner unless you count a bag of crisps or McDonald's on the last train!). I've been struggling to articulate how I'm feeling and you've done it for me (thank you). I stopped drinking alcohol a year ago and thought that would solve all my issues and whilst it has been a game changer on so many levels, it's not the silver bullet I had hoped for in terms of the life force... You've given me lots to think about. Tiny stupid habits here I come!
Love this article. I also appreciate modern medicine - if I break a bone or get cancer, I want something stronger than herbs. Modern medicine is great in a crisis, but it doesn’t each us how to live and take care of ourselves.
In general, I’ve found that doctors in Western countries not only have knowledge gaps in several important aspects of wellbeing (such as nutrition), but there also seems to be a culture that pushes drugs and bandaid fixes. I’ve struggled with vague hormonal symptoms for years that severely impacted my quality of life. Every doctor I visited brushed me off. At best, they offered me pills; at worst, they gaslit me and told me that being female just means accepting pain. While on vacation in India, I happened to speak with a doctor (Western medicine, but tuned into the culture of Ayurveda). She poured over my medical history and identified several issues in my blood work that no other doctor had noticed before. She gave me extremely detailed nutritional and lifestyle advice and recommended some supplements. It’s only been two months since I’ve started following her regimen, but I would say that my symptoms have alleviated by at least 50%. This is the best I’ve felt in years.
Loved this piece. Thanks for sharing and I'm happy to hear that you've found an approach that makes a meaningful difference! If you have any favorite tips/resources for yoga with weights, do share 😊
Thank you! It's actually Pilates I've been doing with weights. Check out @shape_pilates on IG. She has an amazing (and extremely affordable platform) with lots of on-demand and live classes. Perfect for mom life because many of them are 20 min! Love her approach overall.
Hi! I appreciate the way you wrote about this. I am pretty pro-medical intervention when necessary - I use birth control because I’m not in a place to have kids right now (it would literally bankrupt me) and need more agency over my fertility than cycle awareness. I take medication for anxiety. I like doing an intense workout and find it actually decreased my stress overall!
BUT I appreciate so much that you expressed the benefits of non-medicalized interventions that can make a meaningful difference in our lives. The examples about eating regularly, getting a good breakfast, etc have been so helpful in my own life. Is it anxiety making me jitter or did I just have coffee first thing and forget to eat again? 🙃 I think the world works best when we honor both medical research/discovery and intuitive wisdom.
Thank you for sharing! I too have used birth control (for many years) and medication (for peri-natal depression). I regret neither of those things, and I really needed them at the time. I think it's so dangerous when women especially demonize birth control on the societal level -- you only have to watch Mad Men to see what that looks like. NO THANKS! Thank you for reading.
Loved the nuance in this piece. We need more GP practices like this beautiful one here in UK. https://hmxihc.co.uk/. They show that it *is* possible to integrate different traditions and systems. Good luck as you journey on.
Love the conclusion you draw about feelings and how they affect your decisions. As a woman with an intense emotional experience, following the advice of health and wellness experts to use logic, willpower and structure to impose health habits on life is not feasible.
Your essay makes me feel more empowered about my recent (similar) approach to decisions - to fully embrace feelings, where they come from, and their purpose.
Tiny stupid habits is absolutely the way I look at the habits that have helped me get my mental and physical health in order! Sometimes I fall off the wagon and the sheer number of habits I had gathered seems impossible to get back to, so I start with just the one tiny stupid habit and am always surprised how much that one thing can help!
"I no longer believe that something has to be evidence-based..." I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit with this line. You'll *try* something without external evidence, but it sounds to me like you require your own evidence to keep doing it (e.g. some of the supplements).
While health care—as it is today—is more about preventing the worst possible outcome, there is currently no regulated realm for healing. Unfortunately, the wellness industry, like any money-making machine, has a dangerous, dark side. I'm glad you've written about it in the past; more awareness and exposure are always welcome.
Like you, I'm into creating new habits by focusing on small rituals. I find rituals to be gentle and more intrinsically motivating, as they signal a transition from one activity to another.
I honestly think there is danger to both: the lack of regulation in wellness and the over-prescribing and capitalist incentives of healthcare. Which is really why you have to take agency for yourself in both systems/approaches.
I love the nuance you've drawn between "healing" and "healthcare." I find it so difficult walking this line because it feels like a slippery slope down to antivaxxing, birth in hospital = weak, unnatural, medicine is the devil's juice, etc - but you're so right that there are simple, basic habits *outside* the healthcare system that can make a huge difference (and that our healthcare system isn't designed to recognize/appreciate those options). Anyway, I'm grateful to you!
I agree! I have feared the slippery slope you talk about too. But I think things become easier when we allow for nuance, for multiple things to be true, to see everything available to us as part of a toolbox rather than a camp/cult/identity we have to adhere to. It's not as straightforward that way, and you have to experiment, but i think you end up somewhere better.
I thoroughly enjoyed this and would like to thank you for putting into words the way I feel right now!! I'm 37 with a six year old daughter, have worked in the City of London for almost 20 years (never been to drinks that involved dinner unless you count a bag of crisps or McDonald's on the last train!). I've been struggling to articulate how I'm feeling and you've done it for me (thank you). I stopped drinking alcohol a year ago and thought that would solve all my issues and whilst it has been a game changer on so many levels, it's not the silver bullet I had hoped for in terms of the life force... You've given me lots to think about. Tiny stupid habits here I come!
Love this article. I also appreciate modern medicine - if I break a bone or get cancer, I want something stronger than herbs. Modern medicine is great in a crisis, but it doesn’t each us how to live and take care of ourselves.
In general, I’ve found that doctors in Western countries not only have knowledge gaps in several important aspects of wellbeing (such as nutrition), but there also seems to be a culture that pushes drugs and bandaid fixes. I’ve struggled with vague hormonal symptoms for years that severely impacted my quality of life. Every doctor I visited brushed me off. At best, they offered me pills; at worst, they gaslit me and told me that being female just means accepting pain. While on vacation in India, I happened to speak with a doctor (Western medicine, but tuned into the culture of Ayurveda). She poured over my medical history and identified several issues in my blood work that no other doctor had noticed before. She gave me extremely detailed nutritional and lifestyle advice and recommended some supplements. It’s only been two months since I’ve started following her regimen, but I would say that my symptoms have alleviated by at least 50%. This is the best I’ve felt in years.
Exactly this! Ayurveda is so fascinating. I’ve just been learning about it
Loved this piece. Thanks for sharing and I'm happy to hear that you've found an approach that makes a meaningful difference! If you have any favorite tips/resources for yoga with weights, do share 😊
Thank you! It's actually Pilates I've been doing with weights. Check out @shape_pilates on IG. She has an amazing (and extremely affordable platform) with lots of on-demand and live classes. Perfect for mom life because many of them are 20 min! Love her approach overall.
Thank you! 20 minutes is 👌👌
Hear, hear. Especially the emphasis on intentionally doing things our ancestors did without thinking.
Hi! I appreciate the way you wrote about this. I am pretty pro-medical intervention when necessary - I use birth control because I’m not in a place to have kids right now (it would literally bankrupt me) and need more agency over my fertility than cycle awareness. I take medication for anxiety. I like doing an intense workout and find it actually decreased my stress overall!
BUT I appreciate so much that you expressed the benefits of non-medicalized interventions that can make a meaningful difference in our lives. The examples about eating regularly, getting a good breakfast, etc have been so helpful in my own life. Is it anxiety making me jitter or did I just have coffee first thing and forget to eat again? 🙃 I think the world works best when we honor both medical research/discovery and intuitive wisdom.
Thank you for sharing! I too have used birth control (for many years) and medication (for peri-natal depression). I regret neither of those things, and I really needed them at the time. I think it's so dangerous when women especially demonize birth control on the societal level -- you only have to watch Mad Men to see what that looks like. NO THANKS! Thank you for reading.
Rosie, I absolutely loved this. Nuanced, clear, fascinating, thank you.
Thank you so much, so kind!
Loved the nuance in this piece. We need more GP practices like this beautiful one here in UK. https://hmxihc.co.uk/. They show that it *is* possible to integrate different traditions and systems. Good luck as you journey on.
Love the conclusion you draw about feelings and how they affect your decisions. As a woman with an intense emotional experience, following the advice of health and wellness experts to use logic, willpower and structure to impose health habits on life is not feasible.
Your essay makes me feel more empowered about my recent (similar) approach to decisions - to fully embrace feelings, where they come from, and their purpose.
Thank you 🙏
Excellent article.
This was a deeply resonant and enjoyable read. Thank you!!
Thoroughly enjoyed this! Thank you.
This was such a terrific read! Thank you!
Tiny stupid habits is absolutely the way I look at the habits that have helped me get my mental and physical health in order! Sometimes I fall off the wagon and the sheer number of habits I had gathered seems impossible to get back to, so I start with just the one tiny stupid habit and am always surprised how much that one thing can help!
Yes! I do the same one habit thing when I get off track. Mine is protein breakfast!
Oh that’s a good one! I usually go for eating actual nutritious food for whatever the next mealtime is.
"I no longer believe that something has to be evidence-based..." I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit with this line. You'll *try* something without external evidence, but it sounds to me like you require your own evidence to keep doing it (e.g. some of the supplements).
Yes you are right. Could've worded that more carefully! I don't reject things outright on the basis of whether or not they are peer-reviewed.
While health care—as it is today—is more about preventing the worst possible outcome, there is currently no regulated realm for healing. Unfortunately, the wellness industry, like any money-making machine, has a dangerous, dark side. I'm glad you've written about it in the past; more awareness and exposure are always welcome.
Like you, I'm into creating new habits by focusing on small rituals. I find rituals to be gentle and more intrinsically motivating, as they signal a transition from one activity to another.
I honestly think there is danger to both: the lack of regulation in wellness and the over-prescribing and capitalist incentives of healthcare. Which is really why you have to take agency for yourself in both systems/approaches.