You are new to me, but a lovely contribution. Our last 15 years in LA were on San Vicente, a couple of houses south of the perimeter of the Palisades fire. Several friends and colleagues lost homes and memories in that fire. I spent any number of dawns at difficult life moments nearly alone on Zuma beach,just watching the waves roll in and thinking. Now, as we hit 77, my wife and I have basically co-parented our grandson from the day he was born. He is attached to me more than he would have been to his hideous sperm donor, who refused even to see a picture of this magical, mischievous, smart, funny, adorable little boy. He keeps me and my wife going despite the infinite tiredness a life of struggle (self-imposed as we have both been workaholics and parentoholics) has imposed on us. Tomorrow brings a new horror to our lives. We are torn. Our priority will be to secure our family as much as possible against the vicissitudes of the new American Reich. And to support the resistance as much as we can beyond that. We who have integrity, are decent Americans, and love both our families and our country’s expressed ideals face enormous challenges. We have to support each other if we believe there is something left worth saving. Against all evidence to the contrary, I still do. For our grandson and his generation, which is close to that of your toddlers. They deserve at least that much from us.
Hi Rosie really enjoyed this newsletter. Sums up much of how I feel at the moment. On the subject of finding purpose in the face of disaster, it’s interesting that studies in the covid era corroborate the finding too. Many people then became very lonely after the acute phase, lock downs, and sense of we’re all in it together dissipated…x
1. We suffered through a house fire in 2019 (lightning strike)--there goes Mother Nature again. When I staggered into our new home (a Residence Inn) the next day, there was a framed sign in the lobby, small and just sitting on a table, that read "What is Coming is Better Than What is Gone." Truth. Starting over (for a year) with nothing? It was freeing. Granted we were fully insured with the support of friends and family. I may do an essay on this. It was a life-changing year.
2. I am an expert at community-building. When my kids were little, I started a Friday Happy Hour in the neighborhood and we rotated from house to house each week. Masses of kids, drinks, and snacks, done on a dime. I've started two book clubs. A Bachelorette Betting Pool (when it first started! I did it by hand). Currently we've got a die-hard trivia team that means every Monday. And last week, we saw other people and went on a Wednesday to a different bar. The amount of young people gathering, talking, and laughing? Priceless. OFFLINE. And for the last year, my friends and I created Fun Bunch. Once a month, someone plans an outing. We've gone to the Roller Derby, an EDM concert, a public radio show devoted to "Austin", an 80s tribute band, and this Friday, we're trying a new bar with games and pizza (sometimes it's the simple thing).
But truly--Trivia Nights are the way to go. They're always packed with people laughing and talking. It's the highlight of my week. It's the perfect Third Place. We're close with the staff now. It's a community.
I have been thinking along the same lines and my conviction is that we now need to turn back to local community. We have been looking predominantly global in recent years and along the way we have lost touch with our local community. In order to implement the most change we need to make local community healthy again. We need to know our neighbours and learn to step up and help one another. This is the first step. Once our communities work again, then the bigger picture should start to change.
You're the third person I've read this week who's recommended A Paradise Built in Hell <3 guess I'm adding it to my reading list!
Also, I'm so glad I found you. I'm a relatively new subscriber, but everything I've read of your work so far has spoken to my soul in a really lovely, wonderful way. Before I went underwater with two small children in early pandemic lockdown, I was that person who organized the neighborhood potlucks and introduced everybody to everybody; now that my kids aren't (quite) so little, one of my resolutions for the new year/new administration/etc is to revive that part of my brain and work harder on building our local village here, for me and my family and for everybody else around us. I'm really looking forward to reading more of your thoughts on all of that.
I'm not sure how I stumbled upon your writing, but I am very pleased that I did. Thank you and continued good luck with building your village, in the end all we have is each other.
Such a good, important post. I feel that trying to figure out how to live in a chaotic and unstable world (particularly in relation to ecological losses) is my whole raison d'etre as a person (though not of my newsletter!) yet I rarely mention or even acknowledge current affairs when I post here, or on social media. As if it's outside my remit. Or I feel I'm not knowledgeable enough. Or I don't dare open the floodgates.. I'm not sure. But I know that when I feel very tense and emotional about these things - like Trump's re-election, like the UK government seeming enthusiastic about expanding airports in the midst of the environmental crisis, like the fires, the misinformation about the fires... I seem to silence myself. I was glad to read your post. I feel stronger for it.
As for Trump, I recommend this blog post I read back in early 2016, explaining where Trumps support is coming from. Its titled ‘Donald Trump and the politics of resentment’:
I enjoyed reading this so much. I too am here with the hope of “building a village”. I have become isolated due to health issues, so my connection to in person friends has dwindled.
The people I have “met” here and the deep heart felt connections are treasures.
I really love your essays. Village building articulated beautifully again. For me it’s dog park … I go to the park with our two dogs who are working dogs and seem to keep me there for 2 hours. Met so many nice people, different ages, and dogs.
To be truly fearful of the next four years of Trump you have to be truly fearful of half the American population who elected him. I don’t subscribe to thinking his voters are comprised entirely of racist, sexiest, uneducated or reactionary Christians out to put women back in the kitchen and others in the closet. Americans voted for him in order to get government back to governing the people not imposing leftwing identity politics. Voila Trump. The best thing to do thru his term is to stop reading any headline or social media tweet on what he says and pay attention to what actually is done. Have some faith that between state government and interim elections America will keep him in check if required. He did actually deliver a better economic life for most Americans and he did accomplish some decent international diplomacy. The framework of U S government is such that as a one term president his bark will be much worse than his bite. Make sure your village includes individuals who don’t hold identical positions so you are challenged in your views. I recommend “The Ancient Art of Thinking for Yourself “ by Reames. It’s on rhetoric, and suggests we would all be better off recognizing and using it in order to move forward with more understanding of each other.
You are new to me, but a lovely contribution. Our last 15 years in LA were on San Vicente, a couple of houses south of the perimeter of the Palisades fire. Several friends and colleagues lost homes and memories in that fire. I spent any number of dawns at difficult life moments nearly alone on Zuma beach,just watching the waves roll in and thinking. Now, as we hit 77, my wife and I have basically co-parented our grandson from the day he was born. He is attached to me more than he would have been to his hideous sperm donor, who refused even to see a picture of this magical, mischievous, smart, funny, adorable little boy. He keeps me and my wife going despite the infinite tiredness a life of struggle (self-imposed as we have both been workaholics and parentoholics) has imposed on us. Tomorrow brings a new horror to our lives. We are torn. Our priority will be to secure our family as much as possible against the vicissitudes of the new American Reich. And to support the resistance as much as we can beyond that. We who have integrity, are decent Americans, and love both our families and our country’s expressed ideals face enormous challenges. We have to support each other if we believe there is something left worth saving. Against all evidence to the contrary, I still do. For our grandson and his generation, which is close to that of your toddlers. They deserve at least that much from us.
Thank you for this beautiful comment.
Hi Rosie really enjoyed this newsletter. Sums up much of how I feel at the moment. On the subject of finding purpose in the face of disaster, it’s interesting that studies in the covid era corroborate the finding too. Many people then became very lonely after the acute phase, lock downs, and sense of we’re all in it together dissipated…x
1. We suffered through a house fire in 2019 (lightning strike)--there goes Mother Nature again. When I staggered into our new home (a Residence Inn) the next day, there was a framed sign in the lobby, small and just sitting on a table, that read "What is Coming is Better Than What is Gone." Truth. Starting over (for a year) with nothing? It was freeing. Granted we were fully insured with the support of friends and family. I may do an essay on this. It was a life-changing year.
2. I am an expert at community-building. When my kids were little, I started a Friday Happy Hour in the neighborhood and we rotated from house to house each week. Masses of kids, drinks, and snacks, done on a dime. I've started two book clubs. A Bachelorette Betting Pool (when it first started! I did it by hand). Currently we've got a die-hard trivia team that means every Monday. And last week, we saw other people and went on a Wednesday to a different bar. The amount of young people gathering, talking, and laughing? Priceless. OFFLINE. And for the last year, my friends and I created Fun Bunch. Once a month, someone plans an outing. We've gone to the Roller Derby, an EDM concert, a public radio show devoted to "Austin", an 80s tribute band, and this Friday, we're trying a new bar with games and pizza (sometimes it's the simple thing).
But truly--Trivia Nights are the way to go. They're always packed with people laughing and talking. It's the highlight of my week. It's the perfect Third Place. We're close with the staff now. It's a community.
What incredible ideas for community building. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks! You help!
I have been thinking along the same lines and my conviction is that we now need to turn back to local community. We have been looking predominantly global in recent years and along the way we have lost touch with our local community. In order to implement the most change we need to make local community healthy again. We need to know our neighbours and learn to step up and help one another. This is the first step. Once our communities work again, then the bigger picture should start to change.
You're the third person I've read this week who's recommended A Paradise Built in Hell <3 guess I'm adding it to my reading list!
Also, I'm so glad I found you. I'm a relatively new subscriber, but everything I've read of your work so far has spoken to my soul in a really lovely, wonderful way. Before I went underwater with two small children in early pandemic lockdown, I was that person who organized the neighborhood potlucks and introduced everybody to everybody; now that my kids aren't (quite) so little, one of my resolutions for the new year/new administration/etc is to revive that part of my brain and work harder on building our local village here, for me and my family and for everybody else around us. I'm really looking forward to reading more of your thoughts on all of that.
Keep writing -- I'll keep reading! <3
That book really never leaves my brain -- strongly recommend it.
I'm not sure how I stumbled upon your writing, but I am very pleased that I did. Thank you and continued good luck with building your village, in the end all we have is each other.
Thank you.
Such a good, important post. I feel that trying to figure out how to live in a chaotic and unstable world (particularly in relation to ecological losses) is my whole raison d'etre as a person (though not of my newsletter!) yet I rarely mention or even acknowledge current affairs when I post here, or on social media. As if it's outside my remit. Or I feel I'm not knowledgeable enough. Or I don't dare open the floodgates.. I'm not sure. But I know that when I feel very tense and emotional about these things - like Trump's re-election, like the UK government seeming enthusiastic about expanding airports in the midst of the environmental crisis, like the fires, the misinformation about the fires... I seem to silence myself. I was glad to read your post. I feel stronger for it.
As for Trump, I recommend this blog post I read back in early 2016, explaining where Trumps support is coming from. Its titled ‘Donald Trump and the politics of resentment’:
https://www.resilience.org/stories/2016-01-21/donald-trump-and-the-politics-of-resentment/
I also recommend this article ‘Trump is the first president to turn post modernism against itself’:
https://thefederalist.com/2017/01/23/donald-trump-first-president-turn-postmodernism/
"Disaster, Solnit argues, opens up possibility”
Reminds me of a scene in the Simpsons:
Lisa: “Look on the bright side Dad. Did you know the Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity”
Homer: Yes! Crisituniuty! You’re right!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY-P3D63Z18
Also, focus on the ‘emergence’ in the word ‘emergency’ ;-)
I enjoyed reading this so much. I too am here with the hope of “building a village”. I have become isolated due to health issues, so my connection to in person friends has dwindled.
The people I have “met” here and the deep heart felt connections are treasures.
Liking the links to some solid good writing. And I will take inspiration from this piece. Thank you.
I really love your essays. Village building articulated beautifully again. For me it’s dog park … I go to the park with our two dogs who are working dogs and seem to keep me there for 2 hours. Met so many nice people, different ages, and dogs.
Love animals as village facilitators -- Thanks for sharing!
The perfect piece, sprinkled with just enough hope and wisdom to move forward in resilience and goodwill. Thank you. This was/is helpful. ~Stephanie
To be truly fearful of the next four years of Trump you have to be truly fearful of half the American population who elected him. I don’t subscribe to thinking his voters are comprised entirely of racist, sexiest, uneducated or reactionary Christians out to put women back in the kitchen and others in the closet. Americans voted for him in order to get government back to governing the people not imposing leftwing identity politics. Voila Trump. The best thing to do thru his term is to stop reading any headline or social media tweet on what he says and pay attention to what actually is done. Have some faith that between state government and interim elections America will keep him in check if required. He did actually deliver a better economic life for most Americans and he did accomplish some decent international diplomacy. The framework of U S government is such that as a one term president his bark will be much worse than his bite. Make sure your village includes individuals who don’t hold identical positions so you are challenged in your views. I recommend “The Ancient Art of Thinking for Yourself “ by Reames. It’s on rhetoric, and suggests we would all be better off recognizing and using it in order to move forward with more understanding of each other.