Loved this! I went through a similar stage when my now 5 year old was a baby/toddler. One thing that was really helpful for me was to build back a library habit. I was going there pretty regularly anyway with my daughter, but did not have time to browse the stacks for me as well as her. Instead I built the habit of reserving a book from the library (through their app) every time I was tempted to buy one. Once they arrived, the low-stakes urgency of needing to read it before it was time to bring it back acted as an extra push to commit time to reading. As a result I now read much more than I did pre-kids (and buy very few books for myself now, mostly I buy them as gifts or if there's something I liked so much I feel the need for my own copy).
Yes! I feel like I could write an entire post about how having a child brings the public library back into one's life in such a beautiful way. Libraries are like magic. This is a great tip.
I love this ! I too have rediscovered the library and am now a little bit addicted ! I got fed up of the mountains of paperbacks; their cost, even if from charity shops, and then the what to do with them.
When I moved to a smallish, dampish old Welsh cottage I knew it wasn’t very book friendly and decided to visit the library; so now I absolutely love ordering books from them ( I go in with a list ) and love the small interactions with the librarians when I pick up and drop off. It almost feels like a secret club !
Deleting apps and taking up reading has resulted in me reading 125 books a year, learning a ton, and led me to blogging here.
Don’t just take my word for it. All studies show we are happier completely off social media. And that reading builds empathy and understanding: Wisdom ❤️
I’m sure you’ll have multiple comments like this but..WOW. I feel like I could have written this! Right down to the big ideas books and reading multiple books at the same time. And the fresh commitment to slow and steady nourishment (especially of the book variety).
I’m really looking forward to a few of these titles as well! At the moment, I’m reading The Matter With Things, Everlasting Meal and Vaster Wilds.
Love this piece, Rosie. I love the idea of a book date. On the weeks when my husband is working long hours, I schedule an hour to just read while my kids are at school. It feels rebellious like I should be making the "most" out of the time, but I find it's really important to manage some of the stress of solo parenting.
"One of the most powerful motivators for real change in my life is simple: getting sufficiently tired of my own bullshit." WORD. Thanks for getting to the nub of it so well, as usual.
I love that your articles are full of applicable suggestions, as well as considered insight. Thank you for what you write.
Using a freshly-sharpened pencil IS an underrated delight. It also helps not having to go back through dog-eared pages to remember what you wanted to remember!
I've *just* written about my five-star reads of 2024 and realised that while I too have a few non-fiction/research books usually on the go - I've realised I always need ONE pure escapism fiction book to look forward to and get giddy about! Also helps the brain relax before sleep. Currently reading The Wedding People and am obsessed.
Love this article! I restricted myself to two news articles a day… then I read one of my books (usually reading 3 at once) before I read any more news.
Hugely increased my book reading.
I also keep a book journal which has increased remembering plots of books and why I liked them. Very enjoyable.
Great tips. I almost completely stopped reading in my free time for years when I had to read a lot for work. I could only get back into reading because of 4. - reading stuff that did not feel overwhelming (even when that meant that I sometimes read books I am embarrassed to tell my intellectual friends about!) and having multiple books to choose from. When I have time off work, my brain very quickly wants more challenging books; the busier I am at work, the lighter my reading becomes. And I think that's totally fine.
This is great! I've also been trying to lead more lately. My biggest motivator has been realizing how many books I want to read. The answer is many, many books.
I think about how each book carries with it the possibility that it could change how I think about the world or how I move through my life. Or that it could just be what I need to hear in that moment. It creates this sense of urgency within. When I realize how many wonderful books are still waiting for me, it's like I can't think of a better way to use my time! Like I should obviously read while I have the chance, right? Few other things could match these stakes, much less scrolling on my phone.
Reading is the first thing that made me feel like myself postpartum. I would read for 20 minutes before bed while pumping and it’s like a light bulb went off - there you are again. Little did I know then that I would also use reading as a way to claw myself out of my postpartum depression.
And now (almost 4 years later) I read all the time and the most beautiful part is I read when my son is awake! I don’t feel like I have to save it for when he’s out of the house or asleep. I like modeling reading as a happy habit to him and love teaching him the name of the books I’m reading and the basics of what they are about. Reading (and the library!) have truly saved me as a new-ish Mom. And don’t be fooled - he interrupts me all the time, but I’ll take what I can get with a chatty and active toddler in tow.
I also have almost entirely left the internet. Yes, the internet! Your substack is one of a few that I keep up with along with a few random blogs. It’s sooooo hard at first to not be in the know/on any form of social media, but let me tell you it’s modern day freedom. I’m lighter, less fuzzy, more focused, in awe of nature and just happier. Thank you for all you do here. I feel very seen!
I remember this stage of life well! Looking back, my reading habit affected my kids too - I read aloud to them, and let them know as well that my private reading time was precious. They are now in their 50's and are keen readers; my son especially always tells me what he's reading.
The not-reading-heavy-non-fiction-before-bed suggestion is excellent and one I've started adopting, too! I love nerdy thick volumes of research-y type stuff but some light fiction before bed feels so lovely, too. A brain break, but also like a healthy snack. :) These are all excellent tips, thank you!
I have been thinking about 'friction' myself recently for several reasons. The concept came up in two pieces this week, now three if I count your piece:
* The Atlantic: The Anti-Social Century (behind a paywall, unfortunately). To summarise some of it briefly, in the piece it talks about how one argument for the rise in loneliness could be partly attributed to the ease at which we can get things e.g., food delivered through apps, meaning that we prefer to stay in at home rather than go out to see people both strangers and friends.
* NY Times - Ezra Klein talks to Oliver Burkeman about his new book. They discuss friction in relation to location and their thinking around this.
Both really interesting pieces if you get the chance to read/listen!
I deleted the Facebook app during the election and do access it via my browser when someone I care about posts and I get an email. I am not on Facebook nearly as much as I was when I had the app…and I’m reading more physical books now, too!
Loved this! I went through a similar stage when my now 5 year old was a baby/toddler. One thing that was really helpful for me was to build back a library habit. I was going there pretty regularly anyway with my daughter, but did not have time to browse the stacks for me as well as her. Instead I built the habit of reserving a book from the library (through their app) every time I was tempted to buy one. Once they arrived, the low-stakes urgency of needing to read it before it was time to bring it back acted as an extra push to commit time to reading. As a result I now read much more than I did pre-kids (and buy very few books for myself now, mostly I buy them as gifts or if there's something I liked so much I feel the need for my own copy).
Yes! I feel like I could write an entire post about how having a child brings the public library back into one's life in such a beautiful way. Libraries are like magic. This is a great tip.
I love this ! I too have rediscovered the library and am now a little bit addicted ! I got fed up of the mountains of paperbacks; their cost, even if from charity shops, and then the what to do with them.
When I moved to a smallish, dampish old Welsh cottage I knew it wasn’t very book friendly and decided to visit the library; so now I absolutely love ordering books from them ( I go in with a list ) and love the small interactions with the librarians when I pick up and drop off. It almost feels like a secret club !
I love my library app too, and similarly, it has saved me a fortune 🤣
Can confirm.
Deleting apps and taking up reading has resulted in me reading 125 books a year, learning a ton, and led me to blogging here.
Don’t just take my word for it. All studies show we are happier completely off social media. And that reading builds empathy and understanding: Wisdom ❤️
I’m sure you’ll have multiple comments like this but..WOW. I feel like I could have written this! Right down to the big ideas books and reading multiple books at the same time. And the fresh commitment to slow and steady nourishment (especially of the book variety).
I’m really looking forward to a few of these titles as well! At the moment, I’m reading The Matter With Things, Everlasting Meal and Vaster Wilds.
Thanks for putting this all down ❤️
Same! 💛
Love this piece, Rosie. I love the idea of a book date. On the weeks when my husband is working long hours, I schedule an hour to just read while my kids are at school. It feels rebellious like I should be making the "most" out of the time, but I find it's really important to manage some of the stress of solo parenting.
I saw you also wrote about getting back to fiction reading this week. Similar wavelengths!
Yes, we are!
"...sufficiently tired of my own bullshit." Nailed it.
Works every time!
"One of the most powerful motivators for real change in my life is simple: getting sufficiently tired of my own bullshit." WORD. Thanks for getting to the nub of it so well, as usual.
I love that your articles are full of applicable suggestions, as well as considered insight. Thank you for what you write.
Thank you for reading!
Using a freshly-sharpened pencil IS an underrated delight. It also helps not having to go back through dog-eared pages to remember what you wanted to remember!
I've *just* written about my five-star reads of 2024 and realised that while I too have a few non-fiction/research books usually on the go - I've realised I always need ONE pure escapism fiction book to look forward to and get giddy about! Also helps the brain relax before sleep. Currently reading The Wedding People and am obsessed.
https://andjelka.substack.com/p/the-hunger-of-a-good-book
Yes, I don't know why it's taken me so long to see that escapist fiction is the ideal genre for bedtime.
All reading is reading, in my view. And when a book feels like a friend, you know it's a good one.
Love this article! I restricted myself to two news articles a day… then I read one of my books (usually reading 3 at once) before I read any more news.
Hugely increased my book reading.
I also keep a book journal which has increased remembering plots of books and why I liked them. Very enjoyable.
Good article.
Great tips. I almost completely stopped reading in my free time for years when I had to read a lot for work. I could only get back into reading because of 4. - reading stuff that did not feel overwhelming (even when that meant that I sometimes read books I am embarrassed to tell my intellectual friends about!) and having multiple books to choose from. When I have time off work, my brain very quickly wants more challenging books; the busier I am at work, the lighter my reading becomes. And I think that's totally fine.
This is great! I've also been trying to lead more lately. My biggest motivator has been realizing how many books I want to read. The answer is many, many books.
I think about how each book carries with it the possibility that it could change how I think about the world or how I move through my life. Or that it could just be what I need to hear in that moment. It creates this sense of urgency within. When I realize how many wonderful books are still waiting for me, it's like I can't think of a better way to use my time! Like I should obviously read while I have the chance, right? Few other things could match these stakes, much less scrolling on my phone.
I feel that urgency too!
Reading is the first thing that made me feel like myself postpartum. I would read for 20 minutes before bed while pumping and it’s like a light bulb went off - there you are again. Little did I know then that I would also use reading as a way to claw myself out of my postpartum depression.
And now (almost 4 years later) I read all the time and the most beautiful part is I read when my son is awake! I don’t feel like I have to save it for when he’s out of the house or asleep. I like modeling reading as a happy habit to him and love teaching him the name of the books I’m reading and the basics of what they are about. Reading (and the library!) have truly saved me as a new-ish Mom. And don’t be fooled - he interrupts me all the time, but I’ll take what I can get with a chatty and active toddler in tow.
I also have almost entirely left the internet. Yes, the internet! Your substack is one of a few that I keep up with along with a few random blogs. It’s sooooo hard at first to not be in the know/on any form of social media, but let me tell you it’s modern day freedom. I’m lighter, less fuzzy, more focused, in awe of nature and just happier. Thank you for all you do here. I feel very seen!
So honored that you still read this newsletter after giving up internet. Thank you!
I remember this stage of life well! Looking back, my reading habit affected my kids too - I read aloud to them, and let them know as well that my private reading time was precious. They are now in their 50's and are keen readers; my son especially always tells me what he's reading.
The not-reading-heavy-non-fiction-before-bed suggestion is excellent and one I've started adopting, too! I love nerdy thick volumes of research-y type stuff but some light fiction before bed feels so lovely, too. A brain break, but also like a healthy snack. :) These are all excellent tips, thank you!
Thank you Rosie, I enjoyed reading this piece.
I have been thinking about 'friction' myself recently for several reasons. The concept came up in two pieces this week, now three if I count your piece:
* The Atlantic: The Anti-Social Century (behind a paywall, unfortunately). To summarise some of it briefly, in the piece it talks about how one argument for the rise in loneliness could be partly attributed to the ease at which we can get things e.g., food delivered through apps, meaning that we prefer to stay in at home rather than go out to see people both strangers and friends.
* NY Times - Ezra Klein talks to Oliver Burkeman about his new book. They discuss friction in relation to location and their thinking around this.
Both really interesting pieces if you get the chance to read/listen!
I have flagged both of these things to read / listen to already! Thanks for reminding.
I deleted the Facebook app during the election and do access it via my browser when someone I care about posts and I get an email. I am not on Facebook nearly as much as I was when I had the app…and I’m reading more physical books now, too!