After a lifetime of struggling with my own sleep, the wild, crazy-making, unhinged world of baby and toddler sleep has been a great teacher for me. Turns out we’re all just big toddlers.
This made me laugh- so, so relatable! After my first child, my anxiety would grow as the sun would set each night. I expected multiple nighttime wakings and the anticipatory dread was almost as bad as the actual nighttime wakings. My bedtime routine looks almost identical to yours now and this has been a lifeline!
Thank you for sharing! I recently read ‘the women’s guide to overcoming insomnia’, it teaches CBT techniques to over come insomnia, similar to what worked for you, in case anyone is looking for further reading. The techniques have really improved my sleep as a middle aged mom who thought I would always sleep poorly!
An Epsom salt bath also helps with magnesium as does the oil. Both really help with night cramps , which wake me up…but you are too young for all of that. Thanks Rosie , enjoyed your article and sleep habits really do pay off. Ideally being in bed by 10.pm is optimum.
Super helpful piece, Rosie. Thanks for sharing your tips. I continue to say I suck at sleeping. It’s a struggle that pushed its way into my life in my 40s - must be hormonal 🤷♀️
I have no problem falling asleep - it’s the staying asleep that I suck at.
Like you, I’ve learned through my kids how much I crave and strive on structure. Yet I don’t adhere to a ritualistic evening routine like I do in the morning. Something this post pointed me to. So thanks! 🙏🏼
I'm 74 and have had terrible insomnia since I retired nine years ago. I think I need that structure of a schedule to follow. I plan to try a couple of your suggestions so thanks for the tips!
Thank you so much for sharing this Rosie. Our sons seem to the very close in age, and we suffered in the same way as you did until we found what worked best! I really enjoyed reading your tips and acknowledging what goes well in my life when I implement similar structure. I would be interested in learning more about what the sleep coach methodology if you are still interested in sharing! Thanks again
I’m a lifetime bad sleeper too, thankfully I’m through the baby, toddler and school-run years, but oh boy, they were tough. Some great tips here, thank you! Well done on finding your routine :)
‘If you’ve never been there, you’ve never been there.’ That line hit me. It brought me right back to that time for me, 21 years ago. I felt so isolated and so incapable. Why didn’t my mother warn me? Or my sister? My husband (now ex-) would wake up, too, and demand answers ‘what’s wrong with him?’ and ‘why can’t you get him back to sleep?’ Naturally, I was asking myself the same exact questions, and would send him back to bed becuz what was the point of both of us being up?
Whenever I encounter a new parent, I almost always ask about the sleeping, how they’re doing.
It’s so long ago but I remember it so well. My heart breaks for me. Crazy, right?
Thanks for writing this. I hope it helps many with its logic and wisdom!
Hmmm…this is at least the third time someone has suggested magnesium. I may have to try it. In the past three or four years (perimenopausal ones), I've shifted from being an easy-to-sleep and stay-there sleeper, to a trouble-falling-and-staying-asleep morning grump. Night sweats are partly to blame, I'm sure. Hormones have not been fun for me at ANY stage so far. It's strange how it's all so simple and so complicated all at the same time. But sleep is foundational. I'm glad something is working for you!
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m one of those in the midst of heavy, daily sleep deprivation. Is it possible to have access to the sleep protocol? Thank you
Fantastic summary! Though I’m not yet a parent, it’s good to hear I’m heading in the right direction anyway. By the way, I’m also someone who used to struggle with sleeping (albeit for slightly different reasons to yourself)
This made me laugh- so, so relatable! After my first child, my anxiety would grow as the sun would set each night. I expected multiple nighttime wakings and the anticipatory dread was almost as bad as the actual nighttime wakings. My bedtime routine looks almost identical to yours now and this has been a lifeline!
Magnesium is so underrated! It was a huge factor in improving my insomnia, which was very bad.
Sleep is still far from perfect, but is vastly improved.
Mag glycinate is good, but a few folks may find it better to take in the morning as, odfly enough, it can be stimulating in the short term.
Thank you for sharing! I recently read ‘the women’s guide to overcoming insomnia’, it teaches CBT techniques to over come insomnia, similar to what worked for you, in case anyone is looking for further reading. The techniques have really improved my sleep as a middle aged mom who thought I would always sleep poorly!
An Epsom salt bath also helps with magnesium as does the oil. Both really help with night cramps , which wake me up…but you are too young for all of that. Thanks Rosie , enjoyed your article and sleep habits really do pay off. Ideally being in bed by 10.pm is optimum.
Super helpful piece, Rosie. Thanks for sharing your tips. I continue to say I suck at sleeping. It’s a struggle that pushed its way into my life in my 40s - must be hormonal 🤷♀️
I have no problem falling asleep - it’s the staying asleep that I suck at.
Like you, I’ve learned through my kids how much I crave and strive on structure. Yet I don’t adhere to a ritualistic evening routine like I do in the morning. Something this post pointed me to. So thanks! 🙏🏼
I'm 74 and have had terrible insomnia since I retired nine years ago. I think I need that structure of a schedule to follow. I plan to try a couple of your suggestions so thanks for the tips!
Thank you so much for sharing this Rosie. Our sons seem to the very close in age, and we suffered in the same way as you did until we found what worked best! I really enjoyed reading your tips and acknowledging what goes well in my life when I implement similar structure. I would be interested in learning more about what the sleep coach methodology if you are still interested in sharing! Thanks again
I’m a lifetime bad sleeper too, thankfully I’m through the baby, toddler and school-run years, but oh boy, they were tough. Some great tips here, thank you! Well done on finding your routine :)
Loved this piece, and thanks for sharing The NY Times piece about Merali too
Thanks for sharing! Among other things, I find the 321 method helpful:
Stop eating three hours before bed
Stop drinking liquids two hours before bed
Stop screen time one hour before bed
Those and a good book in bed work a treat!
‘If you’ve never been there, you’ve never been there.’ That line hit me. It brought me right back to that time for me, 21 years ago. I felt so isolated and so incapable. Why didn’t my mother warn me? Or my sister? My husband (now ex-) would wake up, too, and demand answers ‘what’s wrong with him?’ and ‘why can’t you get him back to sleep?’ Naturally, I was asking myself the same exact questions, and would send him back to bed becuz what was the point of both of us being up?
Whenever I encounter a new parent, I almost always ask about the sleeping, how they’re doing.
It’s so long ago but I remember it so well. My heart breaks for me. Crazy, right?
Thanks for writing this. I hope it helps many with its logic and wisdom!
This is spot on. Once I had a kid I realized I needed to sleep train *myself.*
Hmmm…this is at least the third time someone has suggested magnesium. I may have to try it. In the past three or four years (perimenopausal ones), I've shifted from being an easy-to-sleep and stay-there sleeper, to a trouble-falling-and-staying-asleep morning grump. Night sweats are partly to blame, I'm sure. Hormones have not been fun for me at ANY stage so far. It's strange how it's all so simple and so complicated all at the same time. But sleep is foundational. I'm glad something is working for you!
I love that you wrote about this. I had severe insomnia for 4 months around the time my daughter turned 6 months old.
As happy as I was that she was sleeping through the night by then, I still wasn’t sleeping, so I knew I need to seek help.
I love your list that you shared here (huge yes for magnesium!), and I want to add a couple things that worked for me:
1. Bedroom for only sleep and sex. I read in a different room until I get sleepy.
2. Check your meds, including BC - it turned out the IUD I had inserted postpartum made my insomnia worse.
3. Exercise - even a walk outside for 20 minutes a day has helped me a lot
Thanks for sharing your story. We need to talk about sleep more, especially for women and parents!
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m one of those in the midst of heavy, daily sleep deprivation. Is it possible to have access to the sleep protocol? Thank you
Fantastic summary! Though I’m not yet a parent, it’s good to hear I’m heading in the right direction anyway. By the way, I’m also someone who used to struggle with sleeping (albeit for slightly different reasons to yourself)